Make Moving An Adventure for the Whole Family!

With all the flurry of preparing for a move, the feelings of our most prized possessions –– our children –– can sometimes get lost in the shuffle. Champion Realty offers the following tips to make the move and transition easier, for both the kids and their parents. Buying a new home should be one of the most exciting times for children and their families. Moving can be a fun experience by fostering communication, being a good listener, and by creating excitement about the adventure that lies ahead.

HAPPY MOVING! Resources: Helping Children Cope with Moving (Gladden, 1992) and Moving with Children (Gylantic, 1993), both by Dr. Tom Olkowski, Ph.D.

Before and During the Move
Children typically follow the example of their parents when adjusting to a move, so a positive attitude on your part can go a long way. Describe the move as a new adventure and treat it as such. Remember, much of a child's tensions with a move involves fear of the unknown, so your communication about what is going on can do a lot to ease anxiety.

• Take the kids along on house-hunting trips, or at least bring back pictures of houses you looked at. This can build excitement about the prospect of a new house and involves them in the process, instead of keeping it a mystery.
• Sit the family down to talk about the move on a regular basis. Let the kids communicate their feelings, questions and concerns without interruption, then address them. Tell them what is going on and make decisions as a family.
• Give yourself plenty of time to prepare for the move. Create a calendar of moving preparations and significant dates. Post it in the kitchen where the kids can check off each milestone as it happens.
• Help kids feel involved with the moving preparations by giving them their own tasks, such as boxing up their toys, sorting through their clothes and labeling boxes with their new address.
• Make a point to visit your children's friends to say good-bye. Consider having a going away party where your child(ren) can exchange addresses and phone numbers. Make a scrapbook of their favorite people and places in the neighborhood they will be leaving.

After the Move
Realize that there is a grieving period for children; it may last for weeks or even months. Generally, the younger the child, the easier the move. Older children and teenagers are extremely attached to their friends, school activities and jobs. Younger children may miss their old room, a favorite teacher or frequented park. Infants and toddlers can simply be confused by their new surroundings.

• Explore your new neighborhood and/or city together. Take family outings to discover fun parks, restaurants, the school and other areas where they will be spending time. Make a map with all the kids favorite spots marked on it.
• Encourage communication with old friends in writing letters, e-mails or making phone calls. This is healthy and eases the pain of transition.
• Quickly enroll the kids in sports and activities that are similar to those they were involved with in their old neighborhood or city.

Signals that a Child is Having Difficulty with a Move
Some children will deal with a move better than others –– some will talk about it, some will withdraw. Watch for the following signs that your child may be having a particularly difficult time with a move, then consult a physician or mental health professional.

• Not asking questions about the move and avoiding the topic
• Sleep problems, including nightmares
• Excessive crying or frustration
• Outbursts of anger
• Reluctance to leave the house or be away from his/her parents
• Reluctance to make new friends in the new neighborhood or school